The Science of Safety.
Beyond Survival Mode.
We often blame ourselves for feeling stuck, reactive or for procrastinating. But, usually it isn't a lack of willpower - it is a fight or flight or a freeze or fawn response.
Your nervous system is designed to protect you, and it works hard for you in the background 24/7. Your conscious, logical mind is not part of the process, so you might sometimes feel hijacked by your reactions.
The Language of Tone.
The body's early warning system!
Your ears do more than just hear sound, they scan for emotion. Before your brain processes what it has heard your ear has already picked up on the tone or "vibe" of what was said.
If it detects even a hint of threat, it sends an immediate high alert signal directly to your nervous system.
"Threat" is different for each of us based on our life experiences, and our ears become hyper-tuned to detect:
Humiliation or Criticism
Rejection or Disappointment
Anger or Frustration
And many other emotions
Long before the words are processed and understood, your nervous system has already told your body whether or not you are safe.
The Language of the Senses.
360 degree pattern recognition!
While the ear is a powerful gateway, it isn't the only way your body scans for danger.
Your nervous system constantly evaluates data from all your senses to decide if you are safe. Just like tone of voice, this sensory input bypasses your logical mind.
You might find your "Early Warning System" reacts instantly to:
Movement & Touch: A sudden gesture, a change in position, or physical contact.
Smell & Taste: Specific scents or flavours subconsciously linked to stressful past experiences.
Behavioural Patterns: A certain "look" on a face or a repetitive habit that your body remembers as a signal of someone else's upcoming emotional storm.
Long before movement, touch, taste, smell, or patterns are processed and understood, your nervous system has already told your body whether or not you are safe.
Reaction comes before awareness.
The fight or flight response happens in milliseconds.
When your ear or body pick up "threat" - like a sharp tone, a sudden noise or movement, a heavy silence, a certain taste, smell, or pattern of behaviour, it triggers your Nervous System which includes your Vagus Nerve.
Adrenaline is released and your body responds: your heart rate climbs, your breath becomes shallower, and the stomach, bowel, or bladder may be activated. Before you have even had time to think, Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn modes have hijacked your body.
From Reaction to Choice.
When the nervous system is stuck in fight or flight, it is very difficult to "think" your way into feeling better.
To find true, authentic growth, we need to show the nervous system that it is safe. This shift settles the fight or flight alarm and allows the thinking mind to fully come back "online," - moving you from a state of reaction to being able to make meaningful choices.
Life Coaching
(The Strategic Path)
Regulating through Clarity
Coaching settles the system by replacing chaos with a clear, actionable plan which gives direction.
By bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to be, we signal to your brain that the future is predictable and safe.
SF Counselling
(The Compassionate Path)
Regulating through Understanding
We locate the strengths and resources you already have and release the problem from your identity.
This shifts the body out of defensive, self-critical state and into a grounded, compassionate one, allowing you to navigate stress with resilience.
Tomatis®
(The Sensory path)
Regulating through the Senses.
Retraining the "hardware" of the ear and the Vagus Nerve so that your nervous system is less reactive.
By using specialised sound frequencies, we help the body filter out background stress, making calmness in the body a physical reality.
Not sure which pathway is right for you?
Let's find the right starting point for you.
It's common to feel like you need all three services at once - or to feel too overwhelmed to choose just one. You don't need to have the answers before we chat.
I'm here to help you decide which service feels best for you in your unique circumstances.
The path to regulation is open.
A more settled version of you is waiting.
Our 15 minute introductory call is a quiet, low-pressure space for us to discuss your your current situation and to determine which is path will support your growth.
Client Testimonials
"My life has now changed for the better I never ever thought my mind would feel so clear and tame. I can now go out and about without worrying about my bowel and anxiety."
Mark, New Zealand
Client Testimonials
"My anxiety is now under control and I am able to think more clearly and logically. I am not consumed by negative thoughts like I was before seeing Debbie."
Tina, New Zealand
Client Testimonials
"Today I was walking around in a very crowded area in a big city ...and I felt great!! No panic or anxiety ..just the freedom to be present with life and my friends. It felt just like I used to be ... I was safety conscious of my belongings by not intimidated by people.
I felt alive and truly had an awesome day. Thank you so much ...I am so grateful🙏for the gift you have given back to my life❤️
Michelle, New Zealand
Client Testimonials
"I have a greater sense of peace and better connections with people which has led to less of a life struggle overall."
Fran, New Zealand
Client Testimonials
"It has been a few weeks after my final session with Debbie and I am honestly feeling so good and far more balanced than I was previously. I am really starting to notice changes in things that we worked on and I also have a better understanding of situations around me."
Bea, New Zealand
Client Testimonials
"Working with Free to Bee was the best decision I ever made.
I had bad anger management problems and thought no one could understand me or help me. Debbie was amazing in helping me and getting me back on track to the life I would like myself to have and to enjoy."
Kane, New Zealand
Client Testimonials
"I can smile when I look in the mirror and celebrate every small step as it happens. The work I have done with Debbie has given me the power to accept who I am, to be proud of who I am and what I have achieved and the strength to follow my dreams, living my life in powerful peace."
Michelle, New Zealand
Client Testimonials
"My favourite areas of my work has been the work we did on values. This was an incredible session that rocked my world because it opened up a whole arena of how to go forward in life.
By knowing my values I now know what my goals are. I’ve been able to take on things I wouldn’t have been able to before with confidence."
Nicholas, New Zealand
Please Note:
Free to Be is not a Medical or Mental Health Agency or Service. We are not qualified medical or mental health professionals. Our training is to help clients move beyond life challenges that they believe are holding them back, so they can experience a greater quality of life.
As a qualified Life Coach, we welcome people wanting to improve their quality of life.
As a student or trainee Solution Focused Counsellor we support people wanting to improve their quality of life, through honouring their past to create change in the present and their future.
We are trained in Tomatis® auditory retraining and are passionate about Tomatis support for ADHD and other neurodiversities, emotional dysregulation and burnout.
While our services may contribute to increasing a person's overall resilience and ability to thrive despite life's challenges, it is not a replacement for medical or mental health help, support, diagnosis or advice.
If you are in crisis or looking for a mental health service for trauma, addiction, or abuse of any kind, please click the link below for a list of agencies providing assistance.